respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
