I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
