I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
