fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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