I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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