So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
