She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
