I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
