I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
