ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
And then my night got REAL pukey
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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