my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
