He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
