i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i dont even know how to be here
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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