Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
