I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
