it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
