12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize