Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
that is very illegal...i love you.
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