Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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