Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize