like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he fucked my hip out of place.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
