After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
