Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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