my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
