dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
