9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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