I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We are all done wearing pants today
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
