Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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