apparently the secret to your success is patron
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
