I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
