i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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