I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
