Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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