It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
