just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
