It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
