I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
