I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Randomize
