Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
