Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
operation harelip BJ is a go
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize