im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
