Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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