Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
