She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
