I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
