How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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