Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize