He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
