what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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