They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I forget how to act sober
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
