he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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