Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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