Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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