feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
this will be a night to untag.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
