So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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