my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
