These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
