I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
