so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
