I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize