id be glad to
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
