Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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