I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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