Screwed.edu
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
